War, Weakness and Wisdom
by Loise
Summary: Is about truth, the distortion and repression of it. It's a love story, in it's own twisted way.


_War, Weakness and Wisdom

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There was a time when Ginevra Weasley would have hexed him for what he was about to do to her. However at the time, her say in the matter was not important, after what could she say? Her family, select members because many had died in the War and could no longer have a say, agreed with him but he came across a strange dissident among them. For many a year he had distanced himself from the Weasley's, now, as the matter and problem of Ginny came up, Percy made his objections be known, by storming into her room as Harry held her hand.

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"It's an outrage! You, _you_! I knew it, that someone like _you_, would always show his true colours. People could say that you were good, they must be deluded! You may have defeated You Know Who but you are just as depraved when I knew you as school boy. You're misguided. She's still living, _Potter_, can't you see that?"

-

Publicly, it rarely rated a mention. Much of the Wizarding World already regarded him single, never a widow at his age, and thought it right that the Saviour would start dating. Friends and people he hardly knew offered him dates with their sisters, cousins and friends. Harry had started thinking it might be worth while.

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"Harry, long time no see! I guess, what with, er, him. Well, always knew you could do it! Uh, how are you? I, ah, shit! I forgot... I mean, it just slipped my mind for a second. Yeah. But she's... you know. Right? So, I suppose you wouldn't mind going to a party? Celebrating the end of the war and a new beginning, you, Harry would make a splash if you came to the party. Plus, a friend of mine, a _girl_ friend that is, would love to meet you! It would be really great to see you there, so I'll see you there? Yeah? Well... Gotta go, mate."

-

Sometimes it all seemed so easy to slip into old habits and forget she ever existed. She couldn't speak to him now. She could not smile at him. Her hair was long gone, stubble was only beginning to grow now. Her eyes never opened and could never make him feel like everything was okay in the world because she loved _him_. But now, she couldn't. She couldn't do anything, nothing.

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"Ginny, oh Ginny, remember when we first met? You were this little red haired girl who so wanted to take another peek at me. I was still the Boy Who Lived to you back then, now I... I'm no longer the 'Chosen One'. I don't know who I am, it just seems I was always someone I was not. And now, when I can't be that. I seem to be no one. No one. Oh Ginny, I knew you would understand... Ginny? You're not going to are you? No, you'll just be silent and lay there. It's your fault you know, you shouldn't have been there, it was your fault that the curse hit you and all the others. Oh, Ginny, Ginny..."

-

When Draco Malfoy showed up at his door in some of the final days, Harry was surprised, but not enough that he didn't have a wand pointed at the pale, pointed ferret. Malfoy had made a sound of exasperation, before brushing past him and making himself at home. He didn't seem all that damaged from the months he had spent in Azkaban. His eyes were a different story, almost judging. Harry hadn't been judged liked this in such a long time, fame had made him a hard target, that it made his insides recoil.

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"You really are a bastard you know? I mean I knew from years as school, that you were nothing but a stuck up, arrogant whiner boy who got away with everything but now you are just proving my theories to the world and to yourself. I would feel sorry, maybe even pity, but being who you are I can't help feel disgust. You should be better than this, Potty, you really should. You hear what the _Prophet_ is calling you? The _Man That Saved! _But really, you couldn't save _her_... So everyone else doesn't matter do they? You're not a man Potter, just a boy."

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Happily Ever After. That was how it was supposed to end. Mrs Weasley blew her nose in a pink and faded handkerchief while looking at him with sad and watery eyes. She was one of the few that still visited at least once a week, everyone else was being caught up in their own lives and the boom that had followed the War. Mrs Weasley didn't have much of life to tend to, Harry suspected, what with her family being in shreds. Everyone was living, except those who still clung to the past.

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"It was always so painful seeing you two together during the final days. I was happy that the two of you were finally getting some happiness, but Ginny seemed to be counting the days until you died. It was almost like she expected you to die. Oh, Harry! I never wanted her to get involved, she was still so young! The War shouldn't have taken her, I should have kept at home. Even if she hated me, at least she would have been safe. Safe. I know, Harry, it wasn't your fault. Everyone who matters knows that. Don't believe what Percy and that Malfoy boy are trying to do, they are just stirring up trouble. They don't know what happened, they don't know _you_, Harry."

-

No one knew him. That was the problem. What ever people said, they didn't know what happened the day before the Final Battle. They didn't hear the final conversation between Harry and Ginny. Years later, a romantic novelist turned historian wrote a heavily stylized book about the romance of Harry and Ginny. They didn't even get their first meeting right, nothing was the way it was. Hermione advised Harry to sue for libel on the author. Harry had smiled gently, refused and gone on with his life. There was a reason he didn't like to talk about Ginny, but for reasons other than what people liked to think.

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"I'm really sorry Harry, I am. I know this really is the most awkward timing, I'm a bitch for saying this. The very worst timing. But... Harry, I just can't let us continue. It was a mistake, us getting married. We're too young, I don't even know if I can cope. I still have school Harry. And tomorrow. How will... I just can't accept this... I'm so very sorry. I shouldn't have, I really am an idiot... Harry? Harry, talk to me please! Harry? Harry! Harry - "

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It wasn't until years and years later that he finally realized what he had done. By then he was married and with children. He had blocked what had happened all those years ago. To hide what he had done and to forget what had happened. To preserve himself as well, Harry thinks bitterly on the dreadful matter, if he really did forget or if he was just deluding himself. For a time he wonders if he should tell and so Harry dithers, in between the truth and the past. Love and hate, power and bondage. It all comes to one day, he writes.

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"I, Harry Potter, confess to deliberately and of my own free will, performing the _Imperius_ curse upon Mrs Ginevra Potter, my first wife otherwise know as Miss Ginny Weasley. It was performed after Gi- Mrs Po- Miss Weasley and I had argument after she had confess her plans to leave me and divorce me. This happened on the day before the Final Battle. I almost at once performed the curse, I gave her instructions to join the Final Battle, but not fight, making her an easy target. I then told her to go to bed, she never said goodbye to her family. I wasn't sure what I was trying to do, but Gi- Miss Weasley was hit by several damaging curses and entered a coma. She was in one for over five years. I never told anyone of the events, until now that is. As her husband I had the right, Miss Weasley was given little hope of recovery, however one medi-witch contacted me the night before I released my decision to let Miss Weasley go, to let her die so to speak. The medi-witch later proved herself with the cure of Mr and Mrs Longbotton as well as other 2nd War coma and curse affected victims. I attended the funeral of Miss Weasely four weeks later. One week after her death. She took three weeks to die."

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That was until Harry remembered what he had to lose. His loving wife, his happy children. The friendship of Ron and Hermione. The still loving support of what little remained of the original Weasley family he had known. They had happily attended his wedding, Mrs Weasely had cried like she was his own mother. She had later confessed to him, something that made his heart clench and almost made him burst out in tears.

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"Ginny would be happy, that you are getting married, I'm sure she would. She wouldn't have wanted you to stay unhappy and without a good woman. I'm sure where ever she is, she's smiling down on you. Smiling because you've found some happiness of your own."

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It was the hollow eyes of the invisible ghost of Ginny Weasley that made him smile weakly before turning quickly away from Mrs Weasely. She had been staring at him, not uttering a word ever since she had died. No one else saw her, only Harry. It had surprised him, until he had researched it, far too afraid to ask Hermione. It wasn't too uncommon, but happened rarely enough that it barely warranted a mention. Harry just wondered if more wizards and witches actually had a ghost following them, only didn't mention it. Ghosts like his were usually formed when a great betrayal of love occurred. Betrayal that ended in death and silence.

-

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She never uttered a word. His new wife was always making for the silence by talking, about anything actually. Harry had decided long ago that she knew he didn't love her, had only married because he thought he had to. She knew about Ginny, everyone knew about Ginny. When children had followed a couple years after their wedding, Harry might not love her, but that had never extended into sex, she seemed to buckle down and start raising them. She still had her work and he had his, so they were busy enough that they never had to talk about the past, and Ginny. Harry loved the children, but sometimes when he saw their faces he couldn't help but think that black and brown heads should have been red. Harry just couldn't forget the past, even when his memories were hazy.

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"Oh, Harry love, could you please pick up the kids from the Bones? Hectic schedule this week, and I know you at least have some flexibility, lucky bugger. Anyway, I'll be home for dinner, how do you feel about Pizza? I've got a craving for Italian, and you know what that means... I think I might be pregnant! I think we'll have a girl. We need some balance in this house! I always feel so pressured, isolated. Um, anyway, can you? I would be very grateful. Thanks, darling!"

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He couldn't say this. If he did, then what would happen? Azkaban probably... He couldn't face that. Harry had seen what happened to Sirius. What would he say to the kids? They would never forgive him. How could they, when Harry couldn't even forgive himself. Never. He would probably get a life sentence, the current government would be picky like that, what with Percy Weasley being so high up. Malfoy would have to laugh, knowing he had been right. Harry could stand that, he just couldn't.

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"I'm really sorry Ginny, I am. Oh, god... How can I say that? Just like you did. But, I can't! I can't. I have people who depend on me, who would feel more pain if I confessed. You don't want that, do you? I have kids, they would stare at their father like he was a monster and I'm not! I'm not... Oh, Ginny. Please forgive me. What's that old saying... Forgive and forget? I forgot, could you please forgive? Ginny, sweetie, I still love you, I do, I do. I never wanted you to die, I don't know why I did it, but I did and now... The past can not change, Ginny, it would just be a mistake."

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He had no choice but to burn the paper. It was enveloped in flame quickly, as if the fire agreed that the paper needed to be destroyed as fast as possible. The ghost wasn't happy, even if her eyes stayed the same. Emotionless bottomless pits of nothing. They were lifeless, they weren't like Ginny at all. This couldn't be any part of Ginny, it just couldn't be. The ghost opened her mouth and started to scream, except no words came out. She raised her nearly bald head, only covered in a fuzz of red hair and continued to scream. Tear streamed down her face as the fire burned any hope for justice and Harry stared at her blankly, sure that what he was doing was right.

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"No one knew that I was always aware of what was going on. When my mother wept over me, I felt the tears drop on my face, she didn't wipe them away, no one did. The medi-witches and medi-wizards all said I could not feel, but I did. Do you know what it feels likes to hear your husband decide that today was the day he was going to kill you? Maybe kill was harsh, but he effectively ended my life. He took me to his house for the final week, I never knew why, I was delusionary by then and could only be sure because I was finally being moved after over five years. You know the feeling, if you have been deprived of it for so long. Like the absence of water, it was horrible to hear Harry guzzle down another water or whiskey more likely, when you were starving for nourishment. The feel of your mother's tears, liquid enough, sliding down your cheeks. In my mind I cried out for them to fall into my lips. I was dying, yet I never made a sound. I screamed and shouted my fury, yet no on heard it. I was alone and no one could find me. Harry took it all away from me, I never understood why... Did he hate me that much? Or was it love?"

-

On the twenty third day of December, in the year 2091, Harry Potter died. His will stated that all his papers were to be burned. However in his Gringott's account where a letter was kept to be released one year after he died. Today marks the anniversary of his death.

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"Dear, well, everyone I suppose. This isn't what you wanted, but it's what I have to give. It's for Ginny. I bet no one will remembers her. All her family that knew her are dead, most of her friends and the few remaining would hardly have a memory of the red headed girl of Hogwarts. My death will be mourned that much I can tell. But hers... She was my first wife, and that's how most of you will know it, just another name in the History books, just another name bandied about in History of Magic, but who ever remembers those names? But it wasn't going to be that way. And, really, if I can't take responsibility in death, when will I take it? It all started on the day before the final battle when Ginny came to see me..."

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The letter is under order of suppression by Mr Potter's family. The _Daily Prophet_ is unable to read the contents or report of any findings as the family has refused elaborate on the latter. It is only left to speculate... Was Harry Potter the man we really knew? What really happened on that fateful day before the Final battle? What was the real reason why the first Mrs Potter died? In upcoming editions the _Prophet_ will post sections of a short story on what one reporter, Cynthia Lovegood had prepared and written. The revelations will shock you as prominent and visionary politicians as well as a former Death Eaters and the former mother of the first wife of Harry Potter reveal the real reasons and back story behind the death of the mournful and relatively unknown Ginny Weasley. It also goes into deeper detail of the _Man That Saved_, the ideal and flawed man. In the end it struggles for the truth.

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"As I have stated before, the work was fictional. How I can I tell what happened? It just came me suddenly I was sitting down, soon after Mr Potter's death, researching for an article on him when I came across a reference to the first Mrs Potter... I was intrigued and started to research _her_ instead. It's amazing, really, I'm not really the type to write stories of this nature. I usually prefer the hard truth and facts. But what can I say? We know little of Ginny Potter, this is just _one_ version of what could have happened. Who knows what happened in the past?"

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Harry Potter had wanted to be buried next to his first wife, his family of his second had reluctantly agreed as his second wife refused to see him in his final days. Standing, with her feet buried deep in the earth, on Ginny's grave was her ghost. She tilted her head and finally smiled as she remembered Cynthia. Who would have thought a Lovegood would have ended like that? Shaking her head she glanced at her husband's grave. She sighed but smiled again. The ghost was fading, until with one final flicker she disappeared forever.

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"I just wanted the truth out there. I am sorry for his family, especially his wife. But couldn't I have this for myself? People will probably just remember it as a story. Who knows what people will take it for in the future. Will it be remembered, no, probably not. But I just wanted it for me. No one remembers me anyway, not like they remember you Harry. I was nobody. The truth, is just so debatable. It's this one truth that matters to me, after all it's about me."

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AN: So... who feels like fluff? From what started over Harry mourning over Ginny being in a coma spanned into what it is now. This is all about the truth, the repression and distortion of it. Of course we can't forget the pain. The endingwasn't very clear, that wasn't at first intentional but then I came up with this idea... and well I think it's better this way. You have to wonder, about what really happened. Just another shade of gray. So I hope you liked it!


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